I've been really self-indulged lately. It is bugging me. I sat down and just asked God to let me write the prayer of my heart condition at that moment.
Here is what I got.
God,
I hate the fact I'm not relying on you. Or if I am I feel like crap because I don't deserve your help.
Why do I still think that whether I am doing or not doing certain things effects your love and grace towards me.
No.
I know it doesn't.
But not being a most cleansed "temple" for my God to let His spirit rest in does make me stress. Really, I don't know if it's the money crap or the relationship crap or just the fact I am not relying on you and obeying you that creates this mess inside me.
I need cleaned.
Amen.
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